I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
