Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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