random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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