halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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