I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
