hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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