When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
