So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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