It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
