I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
