He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
