Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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