did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
never play flip cup with pint glasses
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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