So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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