let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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