maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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