If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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