is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
