Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
