Small penises have feelings too.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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