He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
