garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
