..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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