Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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