he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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