sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
this boner is exhausting
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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