quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
