He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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