dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
another moral hangover. fuck.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
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