just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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