Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
