Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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