wat bout pragnant strippers??
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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