singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
