I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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