that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
