I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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