Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
