What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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