READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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