I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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