I bet he comes in French.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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