Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
