I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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