Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize