Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
