i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
