You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Randomize