Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
