I'm drive I can fine osifer
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize