Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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