party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
