Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize