can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
