It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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