Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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