I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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