She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
