So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Four minutes until I can fart!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
