She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you inspire me to be a worse person
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
