they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
