Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize