Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
