are you still at the devil's house?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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