She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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