Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
