Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
