she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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