We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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