yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My liver just had a heart attack.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
