I'm really into asian looking animals
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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