The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
pray to the hookup gods
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
