Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
