I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Randomize
