Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
