Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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