just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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