He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
