white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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