he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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