i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
They took my balls.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
