just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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