You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
