My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
