so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
